Isthatcoolandnormalorweirdand?

bad?

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Theyear:2016。

Thehome-renter:me。

Theissue:IthinkImightwanttopurchaseaBigMouthBilly?

Bass。

Ifyouwerebreathingandsentientatthedawnofthenewmillennium,youprobablyencounteredtheiconicsingingfishknownasBigMouthBillyBass。

Foryears,hewasavailableatpharmaciesandBedBathandBeyondstheworldover,waitingforyoutopushhisredbutton(orwalkpasthismotionsensor)sohecouldsingyouupbeathitslike“Don’tWorry,BeHappy,”or“TakeMetotheRiver。

”Hisheadwouldpivotandhismouthwouldmovewhilehesangtoyou,likealiveaction,photorealisticLittleMermaid?

fish。

Hespentyearsastheperfect“Idon’tknowwhattobuy,butImeanwell”gift。

OfficesecretSanta?

Giveemabass。

UncleatChristmas?

Hand’emoldBilly。

Thefishknewhowtopleaseacrowd,andwasjustsubtleenoughvisuallythathewasn’tanobviousgaggift。

Hebrieflyandperfectlyfilledaspecificneedthatallofushave:tobestupidandfunatafair?

price。

I’mnotsurewhy,butitrecentlyoccurredtomethatnow,sixteenyearslater,Imightbepleasedandcomfortedtohaveoneoftheseguysinmyownhome。

Atthesametime,though,doIreallyneedtoimpulsebuyaproductdesignedtobeimpulseboughtclosetotwodecadesafteritsrelease?

AmIhavingacrisis?

Alotoflate-90s/earlyaughtscultureiscyclingbackaroundrightnow:platformsandals,haltertops,eyeshadow。

Ifit’schictolooklikepost-makeoverShe’sAllThatRachelLeighCookagain,it’sprobablyalsochictohangthisbassinmy?

house。

Anyway,obviouslythisisacomplexemotionformeandI’munsureofhowtoproceed。

I’vebrokendownalistofprosandconsforpurchasingoneofthesefishformyself,andI’dloveforyoutotellmehowyouthinkIshouldproceed。

Ican’tguaranteeI’lltakeyouropiniontoheart,butI’lldefinitelyaddittomypileofvague,borderlineinscrutablesentiments。

Pros:

Ilove“TheSopranos,”andonthattelevisionprogramthere’sanepisodewheresomeonegetsaBigMouthBillyBassanditpisseseveryoneoff。

Later,Tony(themainboy)hasanightmareaboutoneofhisdeceasedfriendscomingbacktohaunthimasatalkingfish。

EverytimeIlookedatthisdecoration,I’dberemindedof“TheSopranos,”agood?

show。

They’recheapashell。

PeoplearesellingusedBigMouthBillyBassoneBayforaslittleas$1。

I’dprobablyshootforsomethinginthe$10rangeforquality’ssake,butthat’sstillanappealinglylowbarrierto?

entry。

Hecute。

Heoutdoorsy。

Hesings。

Cons:

Everynewpersonwhoenteredmyhomewouldprobablywanttoengagewithmyculturaltouchstonedecor。

IknowthisbecauseIcurrentlyhavebooksandDVDsstoredinmyhome,andpeoplelovetoengagewiththosetitlesassoonastheywalkin。

It’snottheirfault,weneedsomethingtotalkabout,butafterthefirstthree,“Omgyeah!

IjustdecidedIwantedone!

”conversations,I’dprobablywishhewere…lessnoticeable。

Herunson4C-sizedbatteries。

What?

Hesings。

SeewhatImean?

It’saprettyevensplit。

Isthebass…good?

Orishebad?

Ican’ttell。

Pleaseletmeknowinthecommentswhatyouthink,andthankyouforyour?